at times i forget the steps of the dance we began at the beginning. please forgive me for all ways of not being as you will for being alive slippery beyond restraint. for give your self creation for ever give your self up again we have all sprung from this perfect garden grown ripe and bursting some to consume and some to return. tame your judgment and feast of it release the beast of your heart to devour what it may for it is so and we are just so: utterly full we look upon each other. i see you sometimes seeing me wishing i was otherwise. i am often wise but it has taken all my years and still each exhale to wear this face so boldly. i have stopped trying to be other than what arises bubbles unbidden from the deep. watch the storm of my eyes, brace your doubt against this grace. be hold all of me. be whole. may we honor each other as gods. you are all ways already forgiven for never are you not me, this living and breathing. we share air and ages and a wild, unruly love that nips into our skin where we pull apart the great pain of the world only denial that we are all— cares and cages, seeds and wombs, stricken giants and tiny buds blooming at the kiss of sun. please forgive me for not knowing all this as myself even my cloak of fear and stubborn insistence that i am not you: constant, strong, here. can you spare a blessing to accept me and all this madness, crawl inside me and look out these eyes? i take you in and know myself. seize my soft body and run fly me to every edge of existence the tip of the tip to reach the center of it all. feel me sink my flesh into the teeth of earthly pleasure, its grime and lushness grip me completely not to keep me, but for joy of shredding me across time i, soul of all forms, joining rain to become river, dirt to become fruit to become you: formless, still, weightless, never not here inside me: shelter as you dissolve all things rebuild the world remind me who i am.